Schedules

Ask a stay at home mom what her work hours are and you may receive a very odd look. Work hours? There is no time clock here. Its 24/7… all day every day. There are no pay raises, bonuses, or vacation time. Conferences usually occur during a play date or child class. Phone calls happen on your breaks (when its nap time or the child is occupied with something else). It’s a pretty lonely job (especially when your child can’t talk yet). Some moms do extremely well, at staying at home. They balance their life and find help when they need it. Others have difficulty with the transition and feel a sense of being trapped. Then there are all the moms that fall in-between and throughout the spectrum.

I have friends (including myself) that once that baby got home, the day became a free for all. The only schedule was when the baby eats and sleeps (and for some that takes months to develop). It makes for long days and nights and a sense of feeling out of control. At least that is how I felt at first. If it wasn’t for my mom making me get of the house 2 weeks after the baby was born, I probably wouldn’t even had a concept of night and day. Although I felt like things were upside down, I was fortunate when Aislin was born. During my pregnancy, I had started a group of mom’s who were pregnant and we made it a point to get together after the babies were born. I also took classes right away to get me out of the house and have at least some sort of thing planned for the week. I even began to plan my Starbuck’s outing. Everyday I “scheduled” what time I was going to be ready to get out of the house just to take a walk to Starbucks or grab lunch (even if by myself). That outing was so sacred and important to me.

Talking with other mom’s I learned I wasn’t alone. Many felt the same way. In fact, many moms would still be in their pajamas when their husbands got home! This got me to thinking about schedules and how important they are in our own lives. The fact you write something down in a planner or calendar, all of a sudden makes it “official” and the feeling that it has to be met.

As Aislin gets older (about to turn one!) our days are quickly filled up with many tasks, classes, etc. But I find myself starting to schedule other thing that I never imagined. I wrote before about finding time for the little things (AKA our kids) and how the mundane life things often interfere with us enjoying our children. Maybe it’s the teacher in me, but I found that if I set a routine/schedule of playtime with my child I not only have quality one on one time with her, but I also feel I get more done. For example: I know first thing in the morning, she likes to have her bottle with mommy and wants me to play with her. Then we eat breakfast. After breakfast she often likes to play by herself before her nap. So during the mommy and baby play time I plan an activity. Like reading, practicing walking, chasing games, etc… During the time when she is occupied playing on her own, I clean up, do laundry, or whatever else that needs to be done.  I do the same in the afternoon, when I know, routinely, that she will want mommy play time and just plan an activity that we will do together. I schedule one "task" to accomplish during a nap time, like... start organizing photos, clean the bathrooms, start my blog, or even sit down and write a list of all the things I want to do. Anything else that gets done on top of my scheduled tasks is icing on the cake! I do keep in mind though, that children are often unpredictable and even though I have a routine/schedule it could quickly get redrafted or just go out the window!

For the most part, this “schedule” not only helps me get through the day, but also helps me not get stuck in a rut. It allows me to try a new activity with her or inspires me to find new activities for us to do. But mostly, it gives me a sense of control in my day. As all mom’s know, staying at home with a child is a surprise party in itself… you never know what you will find when you open their door in the morning. It can either be a great fun party or the complete opposite. And since we can’t call in sick, we just have to figure out a way to work with it.

Staying at home with a baby or babies is a full time job and like any other job, there are goals and tasks that must be met. Whether your goal is to just make it out of the house or to schedule 20 minutes of reading with your child, writing it down and making a schedule will help. Just remember to write in pencil, because that plan may and can quickly change!

I hope today you find time to enjoy your child/children and find time for yourself. Maybe schedule in a coffee break right before picking up your kid(s) from school, or if you’re like me… go through the drive-thru

In love, laughter and life,

Mom