Body Image

A few weeks ago I was thumbing through a local magazine enjoying my few minutes of peace. I’m not exaggerating when I say, that every other page was plastic surgery advertisements. I’m pretty used to seeing it out here… plastic surgery advertisements everywhere plus all you have to do is walk around Scottsdale and you run into fake boobs, taught faces, big lips… and those are the bad jobs! But what struck a nerve with me was when I turned the page to find an advertisement for a “mommy make over”. This advertisement stated, pamper yourself you deserve it… tummy tuck, liposuction, breast augmentation, breast lifts, thigh tucks, etc… My jaw dropped. This is what a “mommy make over” is now? What happened to the day at the spa, haircut and facial?

Now having gone through pregnancy, childbirth, and being a new mom I know the body changes. Things grow big, they may shrink, move around, shift, skin gets stretched and doesn’t bounce back right away, but that’s part of the package, right? I also now that time heals most…so yeah, my stomach skin is a bit loose still (after 10 months) and I still have that lovely brown stripe down my stomach, but given time it will return to a somewhat normal state. My boobs,…well, I started with nothing and am left with nothing…what’s new?! I’m okay with the changes…I’m okay with they way my body responded to having a baby. I’m okay with the wrinkles that are appearing. In my mind, each wrinkle is a piece of my history…a remnant of a laugh, smile, cry… its who I am. So with that said, why do I still feel like I should care and feel pressure to have a perfect “you can’t tell I had a baby” appearance?

To be honest I hate it! I hate the pressure to look perfect. I embrace the pressure to be healthy, but not perfect. The odd thing is, we do it to ourselves…every time we thumb through a magazine, watch a TV program, go shopping…most of us are always comparing, evaluating, criticizing ourselves. I’ve been in dressing rooms trying on shirts thinking, “if I only had bigger boobs I could wear this shirt”. The rational side of me kicks in and says, “Why am I telling myself I need to change for a stupid shirt?!”

But what makes me the most angry and heartbroken is when I think about my daughter. The pressures she will face because she is a girl, a woman. How can I raise my daughter to love herself, be good to herself, and be proud of what she was born with if I feel the pressure? I want my daughter to be able to love her curves, or maybe lack of curves, to love her wrinkles, maybe her crooked tooth, or birthmark. I want her to love the art of aging gracefully and embrace the beauty of looking unique. I want her to feel the need to be healthy in her mind, her body, and soul.

What is even more heartbreaking is that there are parents who will purchase boob jobs for Sweet Sixteen gifts, tummy tucks for girls who want to feel “normal”. In 2009 there was a New York Times article (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/15/fashion/15skin.html) called, “Seeking Self-Esteem Through Surgery”. It was about teenagers and plastic surgery.  In the article it stated that:

“The latest figures from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery show that the number of cosmetic surgical procedures performed on youths 18 or younger more than tripled over a 10-year period, to 205,119 in 2007 from 59,890 in 1997. This includes even more controversial procedures: liposuctions rose to 9,295 from 2,504, and breast augmentations increased nearly sixfold, to 7,882 from 1,326. (The latter two procedures have been associated with the deaths of two 18-year-olds: Amy Fledderman of Pennsylvania, who died in 2001 of fat embolism syndrome after undergoing liposuction, and Stephanie Kuleba of Florida, who died last spring from complications because of anesthesia used during a breast augmentation and inverted nipple surgery.) “

Now most of these girls will one day be mothers, who some will have daughters. What will they say to their little girl who hates her body?

The truth is, to each his own. Its their child, they have that right. So does anyone else who wants to change their body. That's not the issue here. The issue is how on earth do I keep my daughter from feeling the pressure to do so? How do I keep her loving her imperfections when other’s around her are “fixing” their imperfections? I do I help her stay happy with herself. Now I do know that if we, as a family, stay strong to our values and communicate, she will be okay. I also know that the majority of teenagers who undergo cosmetic elective plastic surgery have a long life of feeling inadequate and low self esteem and the answer isn’t in the operating room. What I don’t know, is what pressures my daughter will feel and what obstacles she will meet while growing up.

Now I was feeling pretty worked up when I saw the “mommy make over” ad, but I was absolutely furious and felt so very defeated when the news bit on Abercrombie’s push-up padded bikini for 7 year olds came out. I mean come on!!!! What sane person would even think this is a good idea? To be honest, the more I think about it, I want to go to Abrecrombie head quarters and strangle the executives that okayed this design. I also want to murder the PERVERT who designed this bikini for children. Not only does this bikini turn LITTLE GIRLS into sex objects, but what message does it say to them…. Too bad you haven’t reached puberty yet, here put this on so you can pretend you have boobs?! Or… hey, your 7 years old now, so say good bye to being a child and start being a woman… you should probably start taking the pill and get botox to go along with that bikini?!?!? In my mind, it is absolutely inappropriate. Why can't children just be children?

Sadly I don’t have an answer and it is a free country. So I guess people have the right to create inappropriate products or conduct elective plastic surgery on teens if they want to. I just wished our society was a lot stronger than that. After all, if there weren’t people out there buying it, it wouldn’t exist. The ironic thing is that historically woman have been steadfast, strong willed, and have created a lot of change for mankind….women have the power. Yet we are so weak in the one area we have the most power in, beauty.

Perfection and ideals are defined by society. What may be beautiful today, most likely, will not be beautiful tomorrow. So embrace who you are…being human and being yourself will always be beautiful.

In Love, Laughter, and Life