Reading...those precious moments.

So just to give a heads up, in this entry I’m changing gears a bit. I’m still writing as mom, but the teacher in me is making an appearance. Recently, a girlfriend of mine was telling me how she and her husband are really bad at reading to their child. She felt like the way she read was “boring” and her little boy was bored. She pretty much wrote off the idea of reading to her child. She did mention how great her babysitter reads and so she just lets her read. But that’s kinda sad…missing out on those precious moments. This got me to thinking about parents and reading and how important it is for parents to read to their children, right from the start.

Reading to your child has so many wonderful benefits. Reading helps children to learn the concept of reading from left to right, how to turn a page, and how to hold a book. Reading also is a great way to bond with your child (children). It’s that 10 or so minutes (sometimes less) a day where your little one curls up on your lap and is your captive audience. As your child gets older, reading becomes a great way to experience new things. Talking with your child about the books they read leads to conversations, which lead to asking questions, which leads to motivation to gain more knowledge. Just by reading with your child you are exposing them to new vocabulary, which they need in order to learn to read. Most 2 year olds have vocabularies of 300 to 500 words and most children enter school knowing between 3,000 and 5,000 words. Reading to children is especially important in building a larger vocabulary because children hear more new words that they perhaps may not be used in everyday conversations. For example, how often do you say “slumbering, snoozing or dozing” in everyday conversation? Not very often. But read The Napping House, by Audrey Wood and those words pop out of every page.

As a teacher I read every day, many times a day to my kids and loved every minute of it. (I’m thinking that was the performer in me coming out). As a mom, I read every day many many times a day to my daughter (many times it’s the same book over and over). But for those who aren’t comfortable “performing” or who deem themselves “not creative” or are “boring readers” when it comes to reading stories aloud, may have insecurities about reading aloud, especially as their child develops and becomes more interactive. So I thought, why not share some “tips” on reading aloud to your child and things that have helped me become a stronger reader to children.

First and foremost, reading should be fun. And when reading to your baby/toddler, “fun” should be the key emphasis. If you’re having fun your child will be having fun. You not only want your child to develop vocabulary but also want them to enjoy books and feel comfortable with them. The worst thing a teacher can experience is to see a 1st grader become anxious and cringe when reading time begins. How can a child learn to read and comprehend when they have so much anxiety and angst about reading? So for a parent who wants a more fulfilled relationship with books and their child, they’re main goal should be to just have fun with books.

That brings me to book basics. There are two main reasons for reading: entertainment or gain information (sometimes they overlap). When trying to establish a healthy relationship with books try focusing on the first, entertainment. Not only will your child learn to associate mommy/daddy with books and fun but your child will grow up to enjoy the reading experience a lot more. They will also associate learning with fun and not two separate things. After all, much learning is done through play, investigating and experimenting, which continue all throughout life (but that’s a whole other topic in itself).

Now that we have developed some background knowledge, lets move on to the next step: how do I read to my child and not sound “silly” or “boring”?  Here are some ways to help you overcome your own insecurities about reading aloud or help you become a more creative reader for your child/children:

1. The only critic is you, NOT YOUR CHILD! First know that your child is not going to sit there listening to you and criticize your reading. All he/she will be doing is sitting with you enjoying a book and hopefully having fun seeing you have fun with a book. So any hang-ups you have about how you read needs to be pushed aside. Remember, you’re not reading to a room full of strangers and critics… your reading to your child.
2. Choose a book you’re comfortable with. When you’re first trying to read with emotion, inflection, etc. choose a book you’ve read before and enjoy. Something short and familiar. Something that you know you will have success with. Once you’ve conquered that book, move on to other books. Soon you will have many books you can read aloud and “perform” in your repertoire.
3. Mood. The easiest way to “perform” when reading aloud is to find the mood of the book. Is it a book with surprises (Karen Katz flap books), quiet and soft (Good Night Moon), or silly (Sandra Boynton books)? Once you know the mood of the book just adjust your voice to that mood. For example, when reading Good Night Moon, I use a quiet voice. I may slow down my pace as the book is “winding” down. If I’m reading Where’s Baby’s Mommy, by Karen Katz, each time I open the flap at the end when the baby finds mommy, I may use a surprise voice or just raise my voice a bit when opening the flap. In the middle when the baby is trying to find mommy, I may use a more “teasing” tone and take pauses, “no….that’s my teddy bear”, etc.  You can even show the emotion on your face…for example, if I’m opening the flap where the baby finds mommy I may show excitement/awe etc. on my face. None the less… smile.
4. Rhythm. Many children’s books have a rhythm to them, especially nursery rhymes. Some rhymes/rhythms may be familiar to you and you can easily fall into the sing-songy rhythm when reading. Sometimes when reading a children’s book, you find your own rhythm and feel for the book. Any rhythm you create is absolutely fine and helps bring the book to life. It also helps teach your child that there isn’t one way to read a story.
5. Play around. If all else, just play around with books and stories. Read parts fast, slow. Maybe act out parts of the story. Like jump when the character jumps. If the book has animals, maybe grab stuffed/toy animals that are the same in the book and use them as props.  Always keep in mind tip #1- The only critic is you, NOT YOUR CHILD!

Now remember, the first few times you try something, it may not work. You may be super excited to read a book to your toddler and all of a sudden they slam the book shut. (oh yeah…that happens quite a lot in our house!) Just pick up another book and try your book again later. Most of the time a child closes a book b/c they don’t want that one. But if you offer another choice it often works. Also, if your child has a favorite book, try practicing different ways to read that book. The more you play around with the text the more your child will learn to do the same.

Some of my favorite childhood memories are of my mom reading to me…the Berenstain Bears books. (I think she probably had those memorized we loved them so much.) My mom wasn’t the reader that used funny voices or played around with the stories. She read the books as their mood indicated, sometimes sang them and we always talked about them. Maybe it was her soothing tone but her reading always captivated my brother and me. (And considering we were either always fighting or goofing around that is saying something!)

So after reading this, I hope you take a way the idea that every time you read to your child you’re building a memory. You’re creating that special place in your child’s heart that will always stay with them. Maybe you don’t consider yourself a good reader. But I will bet you anything; you are the best reader in the world to your child. And if you are having fun with reading and bringing that story to life, that read aloud moment could beat out any cartoon, movie, kid show any day. You are your child’s favorite character. The more you have fun with that and yourself the more your child will.

In love, laughter and life

MOM